So, there are a lot of things that you have to get used to when you grew up out West and then you move to the South:
1. Severe weather alerts on an almost-daily basis
2. Streets that change directions and names multiple times
3. Every important sentence being prefaced with the phrase, "I'll tell you what."
Another thing that I never saw out West, but see a lot here in the South are churches with very clever, catchy sayings in their marquee signs outside. I've collected some of them over the past while and thought I'd share some of the wisdom and humor I've gleaned from them.
*Need a mansion? Inquire within.
This one was actually a billboard:
*Let's meet at my house before the big game. --God
*The key to heaven was hung on a nail.
*Exercise daily. Walk with God.
*This ain't your momma's church! (I promise I didn't make this one up.)
*Christ and Cappuccino--Sunday 10 am
*Be an organ donor--give your heart to Jesus
*The best vitamin for a Christian: B1 (Call me slow, but this one took a minute for me to get.)
*The church where everybody's somebody & Jesus is the Main Attraction. (This was painted on the back of a church van that I passed on the street.)
*The church for those who don't do church. (This was another billboard with a very chic but somber looking preacher's picture right in the middle.)
*We have prayer conditioning.
*450 snow cones $100
321 T-shirts $3210
33 Lives for Christ--priceless
*Come for coffee. Stay for worship. (Do the priorities seem a little backward here?)
We have pass-along cards and CTR rings...They have clever one-liners. Whatever works.
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