Sunday, October 07, 2007

Church marquee signs in the south

So, there are a lot of things that you have to get used to when you grew up out West and then you move to the South:

1. Severe weather alerts on an almost-daily basis

2. Streets that change directions and names multiple times

3. Every important sentence being prefaced with the phrase, "I'll tell you what."

Another thing that I never saw out West, but see a lot here in the South are churches with very clever, catchy sayings in their marquee signs outside. I've collected some of them over the past while and thought I'd share some of the wisdom and humor I've gleaned from them.

*Need a mansion? Inquire within.

This one was actually a billboard:
*Let's meet at my house before the big game. --God

*The key to heaven was hung on a nail.

*Exercise daily. Walk with God.

*This ain't your momma's church! (I promise I didn't make this one up.)

*Christ and Cappuccino--Sunday 10 am

*Be an organ donor--give your heart to Jesus

*The best vitamin for a Christian: B1 (Call me slow, but this one took a minute for me to get.)

*The church where everybody's somebody & Jesus is the Main Attraction. (This was painted on the back of a church van that I passed on the street.)

*The church for those who don't do church. (This was another billboard with a very chic but somber looking preacher's picture right in the middle.)

*We have prayer conditioning.

*450 snow cones $100
321 T-shirts $3210
33 Lives for Christ--priceless

*Come for coffee. Stay for worship. (Do the priorities seem a little backward here?)

We have pass-along cards and CTR rings...They have clever one-liners. Whatever works.


Gigi said...

I'm glad you mentioned the marquees. It is always entertaining to read them when I'm out there. I really like some of them. I think my favorite is the vitamin one. Like the old saying goes, "Different strokes for different folks." Love, Mom

Natalie said...

Those are really funny! I love the one that says The church for those who don't do church. I mean does this really attract people? Come on!

Amy said...

Those are great! Your first two comments about the weather alerts and streets changing is true here. Almost every afternoon there's a severe weather alert during Oprah.

Sandy said...

Too funny! I have never been further "south" than Missouri...and there we just saw anti-Mormon slogans all over vans driven by old-style-polygamist-creep looking guys...these are much more entertaining!!

Carrie said...

Seth and I were behind a car the other day and the bumper sticker read, "Jesus for Governor" with an American flag behind it. You are right Andrea....only in the south!

g & g hiatt said...

My heck, you sure do see and hear some strange things in the South.

Destiny said...

Here in Washington we get sayings like that too. I was trying to remember some, because they were pretty cleaver. The only one right now is "Whats missing in CH CH?"

Denny & Joe said...

Those are too funny! Thanks for letting me experience the south vicariously. Hope you're feeling a little better.